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Megan
06 January 2013 @ 11:05 pm
Well, I posted yesterday about how utterly sexually confused I am. Today I feel better for a number of reasons.

1. I can't stop watching Hedwig and the Angry Inch because it's so perfect. And everything about that movie makes me confused in all possible ways, but it also makes me not mind the confusion. ((Side note: I want so badly to be a drag queen. This is problematic for obvious reasons.))

2. I had an activism meeting tonight, and afterwards we all (the teenagers, not the mentors) went out for coffee. I conducted a poll of the group (which, including me, contains two lesbians, a genderqueer person who likes mostly girls, a straight girl, a bisexual girl, and a MTF who likes boys) and ALL of them have crushes on W. So that's reassuring. Also, I told them about the confusion I've been feeling recently, and I tried to explain the fear of "not being queer enough", and they were all very sweet. They told me sexuality is fluid, and it's nothing to worry about if my feelings/desires/identity change, and they understand and will support me whatever - all things I knew, but it's nice to hear them out of other people's mouths.

3. This.
 
 
Current Music: Angry Inch - Hedwig and the Angry Inch Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
 
 
Megan
05 January 2013 @ 09:16 pm
OH MY GOD EVERYTHING IS CRAZY.

I just set up my acting audition for Emerson College! As in, I will go to Chicago and wait around with a bunch of other hopefuls and then audition for a college theatre program. HOLYSHIT, right??

I got accepted into Loyola University Chicago and KU, and deferred from Yale (which just means that even though I applied early, they are going to wait and consider me with the regular applicants). I have also applied to Emerson, NYU, and U Chicago, and still need to finish my applications to Smith and Oberlin. But guys, I'm so close and so excited.

Uhmmmmm I've been cast as the Witch in Into the Woods, a role famously played by Bernadette Peters, which is just awesome. She is perfection and I'm so excited to play this part. Into the Woods isn't a show that has a "lead" per se, but since Bernadette is fabulous and famous, the Witch is kind of the one everyone remembers. Also, for anyone that hasn't seen the show, I will play old scary witch for the first act and young sexy witch for the second act, so that's even better.

WHAT ELSE. I don't know why I'm so excited. I think tumblr has gotten me more used to using capslock? 

Anybody watch American Horror Story? I'm a weenie, but I got drawn in and now I'm hooked. Several times I've been scared to the point of sobbing.

OH. Activism. So starting December 28th there was a huge Christian conference close to me, and one of the things they weren't mentioning in their 24-hour prayer and worship sessions was the fact that they use reparative therapy to "treat" homosexuality. This activism group I've been a part of organized a protest involving speeches, a "die-in" (where participants held white flowers and laid down on the ground to represent LGBT youth who have killed themselves due to "Christian-based gay shaming"), and a prayer and moment of silence. YOU GUYS I yelled into a megaphone. Twice. The first time it was to rally all the people involved (at least 50 participants, I would say) and let them know what the plan was. The second time it was AT the protest. I'd prepared a speech using quotes of people that have been through reparative therapy describing their experience. It was incredible. I almost cried but I stopped myself because I knew my speech was more important, and I was so proud of myself.

Semi-related to that, I am incredibly sexually confused.Collapse )
 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Sweet Transvestite - Rocky Horror Picture Show
 
 
Megan
Title: Through Carnival Mirrors
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Willow/Tara
Rated: PG-13
Warnings: femslash, character death, AU, angst.
Words: 1490
Summary: "And it just keeps going on and on, and these alternate universes are right here but we can't touch them or breach the gap between them." Except on a Hellmouth, sometimes you can breach the gap.
Disclaimer: This world and these characters don't belong to me.
A/N: Yayy, another one!

Willow stood firm on Kingman’s Bluff, facing the temple she had raised.Collapse )
 
 
Megan
Title: Through Carnival Mirrors
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Willow/Tara
Rated: PG-13
Warnings: femslash, character death, AU, angst.
Words: 1120
Summary: "And it just keeps going on and on, and these alternate universes are right here but we can't touch them or breach the gap between them." Except on a Hellmouth, sometimes you can breach the gap.
Disclaimer: This world and these characters don't belong to me.
A/N: Ugh. I fail at updates. Next chapter is done though, and I will post in the next few days.

'Okay, I’m about sick of all this.'Collapse )
 
 
 
Megan
Title: Through Carnival Mirrors
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Willow/Tara
Rated: This chapter PG-13.
Warnings: femslash, character death, AU, angst.
Words: 1256
Summary: "And it just keeps going on and on, and these alternate universes are right here but we can't touch them or breach the gap between them." Except on a Hellmouth, sometimes you can breach the gap.
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. I also steal yet more dialogue from Joss in this chapter.
A/N: Whoops. That took a while. More soon, hopefully.

You have to remember you're still Willow.Collapse )
 
 
Megan
07 January 2012 @ 07:11 pm
Well, thanks for all the nice comments on my last post, but I'm not going. My mom told me on Wednesday I could, and I looked forward to it all week, and then an hour before the event started she decided she didn't like K or the part of town and I couldn't go.

I don't know why I'm surprised. I should have guessed it wouldn't work out. I'm just... I don't think my parents understand. I tried to explain to my mom how lonely it is, and she just said, "Well when I was in high school we didn't have groups at all. people just had to stay in the closet." Cool, mom. And of course the way things were back then was perfect and right, and they should never change.

I'm so lonely and so angry. My straight friends are lovely and they love me, but they don't understand how hard it is sometimes. How much it hurts when I hear someone say "faggot". How angry I am that any bitch that goes to my school and fails classes and parties every weekend can marry whoever the fuck she wants, and I make straight A's and I'm going places and yet I'm a second class citizen. All week I looked forward to a chance to meet people who might get that. And now that I thought I had that chance, it's even worse than before.

I try to listen to my mom and not go behind her back about things. After all, last time I went behind her back she read my diary, found out everything, and things got even worse. But she's so overprotective and it's so hard, and I'm sort of getting desperate over here. I don't know if I can do this for the next year and a half until I go to college.
 
 
Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed
Current Music: Out of My League - The Yale Spizzwinks(?)
 
 
Megan
07 January 2012 @ 02:57 pm
Some of you may remember me mentioning K, a girl that I used to like (and, even though it's two years later, might still like), but things didn't work out and because there was an age difference and my guidance counselor is a moron, we weren't allowed to speak to each other. She graduated last year and goes to college now, has a girlfriend of a year who just joined the army, and is still in town for the holidays.

We really haven't talked much in the last two years, except at a couple graduation parties and at a lunch with friends over Thanksgiving. And then, out of nowhere this week, she added me on Facebook and messaged me asking me to come to an LGBT youth group with her tonight. I've wanted to go to this place for a while, and I really excited. But nervous as well. And what do I do better than anyone? I make lists.Collapse )
 
 
Current Mood: nervousnervous
Current Music: The One that Got Away - Katy Perry
 
 
Megan
Title: Through Carnival Mirrors
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Willow/Tara
Rated: This chapter PG-13.
Warnings: femslash, character death, AU, angst.
Words: 1675
Summary: "And it just keeps going on and on, and these alternate universes are right here but we can't touch them or breach the gap between them." Except on a Hellmouth, sometimes you can breach the gap.
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. I also steal yet more dialogue from Joss in this chapter.
A/N: Gahhhh a whole month and a half. But 2 more weeks until the end of the semester, and next semester I have basically 3 ½ hours free at school every other day, so that should help a lot.
A/N2: My icon of choice for this entry stands for "Oh my fucking goddess, an update!"

“’Okay,Collapse )
 
 
Megan
Title: Through Carnival Mirrors
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Willow/Tara
Rated: This chapter PG-13.
Warnings: femslash, character death, AU, angst.
Words: 2036
Summary: "And it just keeps going on and on, and these alternate universes are right here but we can't touch them or breach the gap between them." Except on a Hellmouth, sometimes you can breach the gap.
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. I also steal yet more dialogue from Joss in this chapter.
A/N: Well it took forever (those pesky real life chores) but it’s here, and it’s quite long to make up for it.

”WillowCollapse )